VOWS

By Caryl Jones

“I will never be like my mother.”  “I can never get anything right.”  “I will make a lot of money and be safe.”  “I will never let anyone hurt me again.” 

Do any of these statements sound familiar?  These strong declarations are a form of vow.  Most of us have made them from time to time.  It is a natural defense mechanism.  When we have been hurt in some way, by some person or by some circumstance, making a vow gives a perception of power.  It may be the only power available to someone who doesn’t rely on the power of Jesus.  (As you see, I am not referring to vows like marriage vows or baptismal vows.)  

The trouble with these reactive vows is that they are based in fear or hurt or anger, even in revenge.  And that is a shaky foundation.  The vow binds a person to whatever negative emotion is at its roots.  

The good news is that after someone has become a Christian, after they have accepted Jesus as their one and only God, all power is available to them.  The God who created the universe says we become a new creation in Him.  And he wants to “sozo” us, to save us, heal us, deliver us, to make us whole.  

There is a point when we must realize without Jesus we can do “not even one thing”.  (John 15:5)  And the greatest news is that He then has promised to be with us, in us, and to do all things with us, in us, through us.  He will protect and provide for us.  

Defense mechanisms serve their purpose for only so long.  Then, just like a bad habit, we can give up that chain or trap.  In other words, our defense mechanisms are burdens that Jesus wants to take from us.  These vows can be as damaging to relationships (relationship to God, to others and to yourself) as is alcohol abuse, gossip or arrogance. 

What vow comes to your mind?  Think back to the situation in which you made the vow.  Sometimes it’s a dramatic situation. Sometimes it is a subtle decision that creeps in sideways.  Recall the earliest time you can.  Consider what was going on.  Were you or your domain attacked or undermined?  Was there some type of threat that you responded to?  It is very understandable, isn’t it?  Yet it is also very harmful.  

Here’s an example from my life, as a way of further illustration.  I took a vow of silence.  At least that’s the way I thought of it.  I determined that I would not say anything that wasn’t absolutely necessary.  Here’s the short story of what led up to that.  In the fifth grade I carelessly joked with a classmate.  My comment was overheard and carried about the school as gossip which hurt the reputation of our teacher.  I had done something wrong.  My identity as a “good girl” was threatened, and my world was attacked.  

Using the sum total of my 11 year old logic, which was based in my experience up to that time, I decided to be quiet.  I didn’t want to get in trouble.  I didn’t want to hurt somebody else.  My personality tendency was introverted.  My parent’s didn’t talk much to us kids or to each other.  I even found Bible verses to support this plan, making it seem like God was in agreement with my judgment.  

The truth is, I was caught in fear and deceit.  There was a bigger underlying evil plan at work in my life.  I believed Satan’s lie “I am a dangerous person.”  He had been whispering that from my earliest memory, and so by believing that lie, the conclusions I came to were also lies.  I was so dangerous I had to be put in a cage.  While in that cage, the evil one found it convenient to have other damaging things done to me also.  All of which further supported my withdrawal and being silent.

Do you see how this was not God’s plan?  Do you see the enemy at work here?  Of course Satan wanted me to be engulfed in shame and guilt and fear.  That is so often effective to keep someone from seeking God, from believing God.  Furthermore, if I couldn’t talk, there was no help coming through other people.  

The good news is, when I was finally able to hear God’s love and allow Him to reclaim me, He did.  His re-creative power is still working within me, to unsnarl the evil agenda and expose other lies and my reactions to them.  

Have you made a vow?  I believe that all vows of this sort are based in a lie.  My example may seem obvious.  But even the ones that are more subtle are damaging.  Have you ever said things like, “I will never be like that,” or “I will never be that vulnerable again,” or “I can’t trust anybody,” or “Nobody can do it right but me” or “I’m worthless” or “I have to look good?”   There is a very long list of vows that are commonly made.  Maybe you see the effect of a vow on the life of someone you love.

Jesus is present with all of His power and love to take that vow away.  He paid a great price – death – to have the privilege of rescuing us.  Turn to him.  If it seems too tangled up in your mind, you may want to have someone else pray with you.  Or if you have further questions, read Biblical Foundations of Freedom by Art Mathias, which gives a more comprehensive look at the effect of sin and fear on someone’s life. 

At Morning Glory Ministry, LLC we are happy to set up sessions with you, to pray with you in this area of vows as well as other parts of your life.  Jesus loves you and wants you free to walk with him, living abundantly. 

“For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”  (Matthew 16:25 ESV)